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Holding Hope Lightly

Inbal and her sister were active participants in the 2010 Teacher Retreats and help compost the english version of the chi field song.  Their gifts still echo in my heart.  Today I found Inbal's story written up in the Healing Journey's newsletter.  Use the Link for the full story and to subscribe or contribute to this great organization.The story was called Holding Hope Lightly here is the last part.

Over a year ago, after we got some particularly sad news about my health, I asked my son how he was doing. He said he was sad but okay. I persisted, gently—was he worried? “Ima [mother],” he reminded me, equally gently, “I’m not a worrier.”

“So what do you do instead of worrying?” I asked.

“When there is bad news, I’m sad. And then, as long as there are things to try, I’m hopeful again. It’s not an expectation, I just hold the hope lightly.”

I have learned so much from my son; this lesson has been especially powerful. I used to be afraid to hope, terrified of disappointment. Dashed hopes produced a sense of humiliation, like “I should have known better.” Witnessing my son’s example—his authentic capacity to live fully in the face of uncertainty by being open to both hope (held lightly) and sorrow—helped me form a vision of what’s possible for me.

Slowly, I have learned to let myself hope. I let myself hope for things that are likely, and even for things that are unlikely. Just a few days ago, I got some bad news again. Hopes dashed—yes. But no humiliation. It’s odd to remember that I used to feel humiliated about hoping—now I find such beauty in hope, such strength. So we—my family, our community—are grieving together, pouring out our love to one another, and yes, hoping together. Along with others, I have my son to thank for this gift of hope.

Bio: Inbal Kashtan, who lives in Oakland, California, is co-founder of Bay Area Nonviolent Communication and author of Parenting from Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion, Connection, and Choice, and a CD, Connected Parenting.

B.C. (Before Cancer), she taught, wrote, and inspired people about creating a world where everyone matters and people have the skills for making peace. Now she heals, loves, tells stories, and tries to live her dreams for as long as she can. Her family is an ongoing dream come true.