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Bonding with my grandaughter
While doing some emergency babysitting for our three month old granddaughter, I was rocking her to sleep when I chose to sing her the Five Organ Sounds. With the first vibrations off my heart and through my voice, her eyes flew open wide and stared right into mine. “Oh! what’s this lovely feeling?” she seemed to say.
Her eyes danced with light. Small squirms and wiggles seemed to come out of her core. She had been tightly swaddled, but by the time I was back to the heart, her little hands were free. Although still quiet, her whole being was radiant and she hadn’t taken her eyes off mine. What a deep and beautiful time of bonding. A re-swaddling, and a little quiet walking and she headed easily for her nap.
I was tired too and I came home to my husband's office holiday party at our house. The kitchen was full of other people so I shoved aside the internal warnings and grabbed a few goodies off the buffet table, which normally wouldn’t have bothered me in the least. My diet has been very healthy since the gallstone passing in late September, and my whole digestive track tender from the reoccurring c-diff infection.
Bonding with suffering and pain
I headed to bed early, listened to some audio teachings, opened to the chi field of the visioning session going on at IONs and went to sleep with a small tummy ache. By midnight it was so much more than that, I moved to the couch to be more upright. My stomach dealing with the fatty, sweet food, and my gallbladder having serious trouble coping. I was very miserable, as I had been with the first gallbladder drama.
I started running through all the Qigong practices that usually work. My healing session that usually puts me to sleep was grating on my nerves. Some gentle music was more soothing. I tried to pay attention to the places that weren’t hurting, I attempted my Inner Smile, Lachi, womb breathing, sending light and smiles and many apologies to the painfull tummy and gallbladder. Everything seem futile I was swallowed up in the suffering. The Haola’s were empty and the HYLT’s hitting the brick wall of pain.
When I got up to get warmer clothes and a blanket, I noticed while moving my body, that there was so much more of me that was holding the tummy pain very tightly. Moving I had greater access to the rest of by being on many dimensions. Yet the pain was too much to keep moving. Curling back up on the couch, I started to do Five Organ Integreative Sound Healing. It was so satisfying to sing to my pain, my heart loving to send tenderness and possibility that the cletching might open. The kidneys offered their strength and courage. Guided by my organs we were coming into a healing relationship with these traumatized parts of my being. My guilty, worried mind could let go of its need to do something to fix things, and my organs could sing to and caress each other.
The sounds became instruments of healing
The stomach and liver sounds were activating the pain in what seemed a healthy way. Exploring it with their vibrations, seeing what it all might be about, and looking for a way to provide support or bring some freedom to the energy. Making the sounds also helped me locate the source of the pain more specifically within my belly. Experimenting with the Ling Ling of the HY Palace, I knew the Palace was behind the pain. The Gong of the stomach seemed to search out the trouble, the FU was like a soft vibrating massage and the Dzong felt like a lighthouse in the fog, circling, guiding me forward, untangling the cramping. The TU sound of the Liver I could use as a investigating tool, I could direct it along my diaphragm and around my belly like some kind of sonar depth finding devise exploring vastness of my belly. The Gew was gently carressing, and the Ling felt like a rising and releasing. The lung sounds released my guilty and sorrow for having caused myself so much suffering with my automated behavior. The sounds bringing alive my potential as an atonomous participant in the greater chi field.
After several rounds my soundings were holding the pain and carrying for it in a profoundly nurturing way. Earlier it had felt like the pain was leading me off into the wilderness of uncertainty. After three rounds initiating with my own voice, I put on the recording of the Inner Smile/Sound Healing practice I lead in the July retreat. Comforted by my own guidance, the smiles came easily and all the parts of me felt like a tight knit family supporting each other throw it all.
Eventually propped up on all my pillows I could sleep. By morning my gut was quiet. Haola!
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